Gifts and Gratitude

This week, something has come up again and again. While at first glance, these events may appear totally unrelated, they share a common theme.

Generosity, Thankfulness, and Appreciation are linked – frontwards and backwards. And further, they are self-perpetuating.

Throughout this past week, I have had conversations about these things with my class, as they asked – and answered – some interesting questions. It began with the gift of over $11 million dollars from the estate of Thomas Albinson. This was followed on Monday by a dedication ceremony for a bench out on campus.

Example 1: Tom Albinson Estate Gift of $11 million

Because Tom Albinson appreciated his experience at Wesleyan during his college days, especially his friendship and mentorship of Professor Franck Bayard, he left money to Wesleyan to help strengthen and expand the Business Department, Media Studies, and the College Radio Station. People and activities that had impacted his life were never forgotten.

The announcement came during the Founders Day Convocation, and was a complete surprise to the gathered crowd. Many jaws dropped, and a murmur went through Wesley Chapel.

Why would anyone give that much money? The connections made in the 1970s were powerful and transformative.

Generosity-Thankfulness-Appreciation.

Example 2: Bench Dedication

On the Monday following Founders Day, I had my class meet out in front of the library for a bench dedication instead of in the classroom. It was a chilly morning, and the family of David and Dot DuBois had come long distances to dedicate a bench in memory of their parents.

Although they did not complain (at least to me), the body language of the class before the dedication ceremony began indicated that it was really cold out there and to stand outside for the purpose of dedicating a bench might mean that I had lost my mind. After the ceremony, however, they wrote reflections telling how much they had enjoyed being part of such a ceremony. They look forward to sitting on the bench and thinking about the students who had come before them. They felt connected to the DuBois Family, and will now be searching for David and Dot as we continue studying college history this semester. They even enjoyed the singing of the Alma Mater out in the middle of the campus.

The family told great stories of how their parents had fallen in love at Wesleyan, and how in later years the entire family would come to campus each year for Annual Conference. The place had made quite an impact on them.  This bench, dedicated to their memory would be a place for current and future students sit and study or ponder.

At the end of the discussions (and a visit from Bob Skinner to tell them more about the Albinson Gift, the DuBois family, and others who have made gifts), my class and I have come to the following conclusions.

Why give a gift? (Generosity)

  • In Appreciation – In honor or in memory of someone or something or because you are thankful for someone or something.
  • To Celebrate – Holidays and Life Events such as birthdays, graduations, marriages, anniversaries, new baby, new job, new home. Generally involves gifts to individuals or small groups of people such as families.
  • To Support – To give aid for disaster relief, research, personal or institutional needs, etc.  There are thousands of people and causes in need of support.
  • To Surprise – For no reason at all other than to surprise a person. Often done out of appreciation or generosity.

How to receive a gift? (Thankfulness)

  • An initial Thankfulness for the generosity of the giver might include a thank you card or letter as well as verbal thanks.
  • Honor the gift by recognizing the generosity of the giver.
  • Thankfulness tends to focus on the appreciation of the gift.

Thankful for gift and giver (Appreciation)

  • Connections are made between the giver and the receiver.
  • A deeper understanding of the importance of the gift is involved on the part of the receiver — while often the gift is given in the first place because the giver appreciates the receiver.
  • Taking the time and effort to truly know about both the giver and the value of the friendship and your connection as well as that of the gift.

Gifts can be as simple as a smile, a hug, or an encouraging word or as huge as an $11.4 million dollar donation. The result is a greater connection and a stronger community – one that extends beyond time and place.

The gifts we encountered this week were given because Tom Albinson and the DuBois family recognized the value of Wesleyan and what happens here. They were not responding to a need only, but to the value. This is true of countless others as well who have been Generous, Thankful and Appreciative.